Happy New Year!

The end of 2005 has come and 2006 is coming up quick!

A Happy New Year to friends

&

family in the blog world!

This new year will bring new things, new adventures, many more choices to make, and many more relationships to develop!

My First Day

Yesterday was orientation and my first day at the office. Well, it was more like the first afternoon, but we didn't do too much except meet most of the other employees and have a tour of our side of the building. Today however is my first full day here at the office, and I'm excited about this job. I'm the new receptionist for the Environmental Health Department. I get to answer phones and direct people to where they need to go. I'm learning the ropes with another girl who started with me, so we've hit it off pretty well. I have much to learn and I'm excited about getting to learn it all!!!

The carpool thing is going to work out well too, I think. I arrive 30 minutes before I begin my day so I'll have time to do internet stuff....I'm working on finding my ride home though. I think we've arranged something, but that will be finalized tonight.

Anywho....Christmas has come and gone.....it was sad being away from family. It's quite different having Christmas when you don't have 2 or 3 weeks off around the holidays like we're used to with college. That's just something I'll have to get used to though.

I guess I've waited long enough...

You girls are too much fun to torture...and so now you will be a bit disappointed to read:

I GOT A JOB WITH

OTTAWA COUNTY!!!!!!!

Paid vacation, paid sick time, health insurance, and a permanent position, here I come! It's quite exciting to know that if I ever do feel sick I don't have to go into work because I will still be paid!!! It's awful to feel like you must go into work when you are sick to your stomach or have an awful headache, just because you still want a full paycheque.

My title: records processing clerk II for the Environmental Health Department of Ottawa County. This is the office where they do water testing, and where various animals are sent to be tested for diseases (misquitos, racoons, birds, etc.) I will be one of four clerks, helping the public, receiving shipments, and other such clerical responsibilities that I will be given. I start next Tuesday: December 27th - no Christmas holiday pay, but I'll be paid for doing NOTHING on New Years Day!!! WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for any other news, which was hoped for in the comments to my last post: I'm beginning to wonder if anyone will believe me when that time comes...Anyway, most of you girls will receive personal emails before I post such an announcement on my blog............

but you never know who...............

................mwah-ha-ha-ha...................

An Announcement

is coming soon!

Mixed Emotions

I have an interview today for a position as a Records Processing Clerk II for the Ottawa County Public Health Department, and I'm excited and nervous all at the same time.

It is snowing today too. It looks really pretty, however it doesn't look so nice when you have to drive through it to get to an interview. I'll be fine, I'm sure...but I don't have to like it. Gotta love lake effect...

A Beautiful Thing

friends.

I'm so glad to have friends.

They make life so much better, so much brighter,

so much more fun.

friends.

Takin' a break

The hubby is finally taking a break from working hard! I'm glad, because he needs it (in my opinion anyway). He's going to visit a friend near Lansing, MI, leaving me by my lonesome. So, since my hubby is gone until tomorrow evening, tonight will be a good night for down time. I'll get to stay home, and clean up the kitchen, do up the laundry, and maybe think about tackling the bathroom. These are all of the loose ends that I've been wanting to attend to for the last three weeks now....but we've been on the go so much.

Or, I might decide that I want to rest, and play a game, or watch tv, or do something else that is relaxing. I'm not sure I care either way at this moment...I'll decide when I get home after work! What ever I choose will be good, because it will be done by myself! I love alone time!!!!

A Day Off!

Tomorrow is a family gathering at Watermark, which means no Surf City, which means the hubby & I are staying home tomorrow. *sigh* It's quite exciting really...

So, it's snowing again in Grand Haven...like I said: gotta love the lake effect


The hubby got his christmas gift from my family. He's loving it, and spending his spare moments with it. I soon will spend my christmas money, maybe even tomorrow.

It's sad to think about what we want to do for Christmas. We're on our own for the first time, and I'm at a loss for what to do....................

Another Snowy Day

You gotta love lake effect snow...

It looks so nice with the snow falling...

although delivering papers in this

stuff is not so much fun...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Gabriel Rader!
Happy birthday to you

He is now 1 years old, and I'm sure it's a bitter sweet moment for mommy & daddy Rader

Happy birthday to that wonderful little boy!!

A First

We bought our first Christmas tree!! It's about 3 feet tall...

We also had to get a tree stand & some lights...but that's two less things we'll have to buy in the future! There are no ornaments, nor a topper...but it's cute and we have one. I hope to take pictures of it, and maybe post one sometime in December. I won't promise because the time might fly by and I won't get to it.

Anyway, our first tree

Happy Thanksgiving!

Eat lots of food, watch games & parades, take a nap because you're so full you think you might explode!

What a wonderful holiday...

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oh yeah!

it's snowing...how lovely

A Revelation

First off - IT SNOWED!!! Yay! It looks so pretty...*sigh*

And now to what I really wanted to post about...

There is someone I've been getting to know a bit better over the last few months, and they just had this revelation that I wanted to share with those who come to read my blog...I have just copied and pasted it...

it's not about me

so, i just had this revelation! this can sound totally proud and aweful, but just wait:

the pain in my life is not about me.

the burdens i choose to bear are not all my own.

i choose to bear the burdens of those that are closest to my heart, because i love them so much

the pain i allow to be inflicted upon me is because of issues and burdens gathered years ago by other people!

it's not about me!!

the pain i feel, the ache deep inside me, the wounds i choose to accept are not caused by me. -how freeing-

but then, not so freeing-

if they are not caused by me, then the people i accept these pains and burdens from are bearing the load hundreds of times more...and what i experience is only a splattering overflow that has accidentally escaped from their heart which they have tried so hard to keep calm and controlled - for probably too long

well now my heart breaks for these people...

i want to make it better, to take their hurt away, to heal their wounds...but that's not mine to do either.

and if it's not mine to heal them then whose it is? is it God's? i think it is.

but if it's God's then why hasn't he done anything about it yet? why does he allow these people to continue in their misery? because God created us each with the capability to make our own choices...to choose our own way...to choose to hold on to the things that have hurt us in the past...to choose to let them go and live...that's huge!!!

so, why do we choose to soak in our misery?

something to think about...

Remember when

I thought it was time for a change...a new blog year and so a new blog template.

Anyway...

I was curious to see what I had posted about a year ago...and this is what I found:

What Hasn't Changed?

The problem is that I still haven't allowed God to break down my walls. I still don't trust him enough to not break my heart. I still don't believe he is safe. When will I know this? Can I ever truly know?

According to quizilla

You are Marcie!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Interesting quiz for the day

It might snow!!!

Yes, I am excited about the possibility of snow! I love the snow, and since I've been walking to work for almost two months now, I'm looking forward to the change. I have however really enjoyed crunching through the leaves as they have fallen...what wonderful memories such a simple sound brings to mind.

Tonight is another Moto night...a time of scheduled controlled chaos. It's a beautiful thing really.

And the hunt contiues

I've been putting out resumes again, hoping for a permanent position to make itself known. I'm hoping something good will come from this batch...

Last night we got to watch little Nathan Troyer...such a cutie. It's gonna be fun to watch him grow up.

One of those emails

So, a co-worker shared this email with me. I giggled to myself as I read through it, and it will probably only be funny to my female readers. And so to them I present:

==============================

National Girlfriends Day

What would most of us do without our sisters, confidants and shopping, lunching, and traveling girls? Let's celebrate each other for each other's sake!

TO MY GIRLFRIENDS!

It is good to be a woman:

1. we got off the Titanic first.
2. we can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. taxis stop for us.
4. we don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. no fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.
6. we don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. if we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. we can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. we never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. we have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. we can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. if we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. we will never regret piercing our ears.
14. there are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. we can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

did you know?

these are some things that www.blogthings.com

told me about myself after only a few short questions!

amazing!

==============================

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

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Mood Ring Generator

Your Mood Ring is Light Blue

Emotions mixed Unsettled Cool

==============================

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Your Blog Should Be Blue

Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere. You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant. From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book.

==============================

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

==============================

Who'd'a thunk?

a little more comfortable

It's a struggle I have...taking another step in my journey of faith, being glad in it while not becoming satisfied. It's exciting to know that God is doing things in my heart! But I want to revel in that moment, never letting it go,but really choosing to say, "okay God, that's good enough, I'm satisfied with this better person", when there is so much more in store. Freedom is great and I want to be completely free. But I also find myself wanting the comforts of my boundaries/walls/cages that I've been given or created on my own.

this is my constant struggle...becoming a little more comfortable

The beginning of something new

Moto is taking a step toward something great tonight. We are merging with Covenant Life Church, at their invitation, because they don't have a middle school youth guy, and we don't have enough room at the facility we've been at for a while now. You can feel the excitement in the air...

So what will be new tonight?

• a new building for the Watermark students & leaders
• new Covenant Life students
• a new sound system (that CLC is graciously allowing us to use)
• a coffee bar in the back! yum..
• a bit more electricity in the air
• more students means new relationships & friendships
• and anything else that God might have up his sleeve!

It's gonna be great!

What do you think?

I have a question...What happened to those people Jesus healed in the gospels, telling them to not tell anyone what had happened and to go offer the proper sacrifices for their circumstances and show themselves to the priest? These people, most times, did NOT do what Jesus had told them to do, shouting what he had done for them, and then we never hear of them again! I wonder if Jesus was sad that they did not obey? Was he mad at their disregard for what he had requested?

It's On It's Way!!!

Lunch time was wonderful today because I mailed off the immigrations forms to the lawyer! I'm glad to have those things out of my hands. He'll receive them on Monday, and then they will be filed. In 3 months we'll be looking for Jason's work permit, and in 6 months we'll hope for his green card. I choose to be hopeful during these next months....

A Fresh Look

I was listening to something yesterday and it struck me in a new way:
The Sabbath was made to benefit people, and not people to benefit the Sabbath
Jesus was talking to the Pharisees here, rebuking them for rebuking the disciples for picking grain on the Sabbath.

The reason it was new to me yesterday was because I usually accept the Sabbath as something that I'm commanded to take. If God needed a day to rest, now much more do I? was what I've always reasoned my day of rest with. But this made God look weak, not strong enough to keep going. God actually set aside the Sabbath as holy because He knew that WE aren't strong enough to keep going. How much love is in that new look?!?! The Sabbath was made for our benefit - because God knows us so well that He knows we NEED to rest. What a wonderful thought - God loves me that much.

.And Our Guest Was...

...Mr.Lynn Erskine Admissions Counselor for Bethany Bible College
We went out to eat, here in town, and had wonderful food and conversation, and ended the night with a good cup of coffee and more conversation. It was a treat all around.

Our weekend was busy, but good. I am tired, but in a good way.

This is your last chance!

Alright, who is it??? Who is coming to Grand Haven, Michigan today, Friday, September 23rd, 2005!!!!!???????

This is driving me crazy! I want to give up on guessing, but I just CAN'T!

One of those days...

My lady readers will understand what I'm about to say...

I have to admit that I wonder what God was thinking when he designed us with hormones! I'm pretty sure he isn't enjoying what I'm going through, but I would love to know where he came up with the idea. These last couple of days have been the dreaded emotional rollercoaster...which is MOST irritating to me!!! I try my best to keep the rollercoaster under cover, and most people would probably have no clue. But I just want to scream one minute, a couple later I'm laughing about something, then a few minutes later I find myself on the verge of crying! Did I leave my sanity somewhere? If you happen to find it, please let me know...I'm certainly missing it.

Who's the Culprit???

So my hubby informs me yesterday that I am not to make any plans for Friday. That's fine, I think. Expecting him to explain this demand, I am sorely disappointed as he says, "see you after work".

Well, according to hubby this person is a co-friend of ours and they are sworn to secrecy! THE NERVE!!! Anyway, needless to say, I am frequently finding my brain wandering to the question: "who might be coming?" I know they called from New Brunswick...I do not know their gender, however the majority of our friends are female, but that doesn't mean anything. Anyway, my mind keeps working...and if I dont' figure it out by Friday I'll find out then!

Any hints???

A Funny Moment

This was sent to me in an email by my cousin. I find Robin Williams to be quite amusing...and so wanted to share this amusing piece with you!
Enjoy!!
==========================

ROBIN WILLIAMS PEACE PLAN

Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan! (It's hard to argue with his logic!)

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a
plan for peace. So, here's one plan.

1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs,past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega,Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never "interfere" again.
2. The US will withdraw our troops from all over the world starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.
3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are.... They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!!!!!!
5. No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here.
6. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers; 7-11 cashiers, service station or motel owners .
7. No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
8. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
9. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up their storage sites would be enough.)
10. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
11. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
12. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE.....

Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"

A Yummy Moment

Go here for a sweet temptation

How many hoops can you jump through?

This is a game that INS (Immigration & Naturalization Services) likes to play with people interested in becoming Permanent residents/citizens of the United States of America. I am quick to blame these hoops on 9/11, however I find myself wondering if they don't just do it for spite.

Now, reality hits me in the face and says: the government is just protecting itself, so quit your crying! They don't want to let a bunch of bums come into the states and mooch off of them. This really does make good sense, and I'm really just complaining....I know. I'll stop now, but you have a good idea of how I'm feeling about this whole thing.

Don't even get me started on how much this whole ordeal will cost in the end!!!!!

Another Day...Another Year

All together now:

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Judy.....
Happy birthday to you

So, today is the beginning of another year...not so sure how I feel about that.

Sunday morning went really well, in my opinion...and I'm excited for the huge potential it has for expanding and exploding. Have I mentioned that I love where we live?

Our New Apartment

So, all of our stuff is in the new place...still in their boxes. Unpacking is becoming just an unenjoyable as packing. But I won't get into that today.

On the bright side: I get to walk to & from work each day. I love it because it's a sweet calm in the mornings and a great refresher after a day of semi-mindless tasks. It's a beautiful thing! As I sit here, in the break room at work, eating my popcorn, I begin to dream of having people over...eating lots of good food...laughing...watching good movies...and the list goes on!

That's about it though. I've put in a couple more resumes for jobs in the county...we'll see what happens this time.

It's Friday Again!

Yes, it's another friday! Yay for Fridays!!

However this weekend will bring much packing and preparations for a move to an apartment. We found a GREAT place with a GREAT deal! We're super excited too because it's in a GREAT location, just three blocks from where I work, and a 5 minute bike ride to the Hub, where Jason spends the majority of his time. It'll be great for many reasons:

• it's fully furnished (even including cable - for the bum in me)
• it's close to just about everything
• the location means less gas money spent
• the price is perfect for us
• the landlord is wonderful
• it's a place where we can invite friends over!!

Although we do not look forward to packing our stuff up again, we do know that we won't be moving again for 9 whole months!! I think that's the longest we'll have stayed in one place - EVER! Hopefully we'll be able to buy our own home when this lease runs out...but that's a thought for another day...really another month...

Greetings!

And so another Friday comes to bring another weekend!

Hi Courtney

For those of you who are curious I do work at the County Courthouse, in the Register of Deeds office. (again, this is a long-term-temporary position through an employment agency) The majority of my responsibilities are to improve the quality of the older documents we have on our computer system - meaning I make copies for the majority of the day. I also get & open the mail first thing in the morning for the office, and put the postage on all of the mail for the whole building at the end of the day. I amjust recently being taught how to index the new documents which come into the office to be recorded each day - which is good because it is actually challenging. Sometimes I wonder what my degree was for...but this job is temporary, and they are willing to keep me until I find a more permanent job somewhere else.

Well, that's all for now...just wanted to answer the questions that came up.

another day

So, it's another day and I'm still working at the County Court House. I found out today though that I'll be learning something new (probably starting tomorrow) which is really exciting to me.

Only working one job is a beautiful thing. I love knowing that @ 5pm I am finished working for the day. Now, since we have received our sponsered membership at our local YMCA, we go straight there after I'm done working for a solid cardio workout! That makes me even more excited, and tired...but I didn't realize how much I've missed exercising. I'm hoping it will help me to drop some more weight...but we'll see how that goes. We started yesterday and I'm feelin' pretty good today. Tomorrow might be another story though. ;-)

Guilty

So, now that I'm finally only working one fulltime job I will have a bit more time to post.

My last night with Domino's Pizza is tomorrow night...and it will be sad for me. If anyone is looking for a good part time job, go to your local pizza place. Granted, I lucked out with a great store, but I'm sure it'll be good anywhere.

Well, I'm hungry, and that's all of the news from this DeRoche home...

Rest

You never realize how important it is to rest until you don't do it. You know the whole Sabbath thing....resting on the 7th day? Well, I don't think it has to be EVERY Sunday, but you might be surprised at how much work you really can get done in the six days you're working if you DO rest on the 7th! Try it out, if you don't believe me. Do all of the work you planed on doing in 6 days, and don't do any work at all on the 7th. Spend time with friends, catch up on reading, email people, take a nap, sleep in....do whatever it is you do when you rest/relax.

That is what's going on with me today. I'm resting. I've decided that working the part time job isn't worth the added stress. I broke down Monday night, and Jason and I decided that we don't need that extra little bit of money because it's adding too much stress. So, after August 7th I'll just work the major weekends and only when they need someone to work (and don't have any other people). I really like Domino's, the job and the people are great.

Anyway, that's all in my life right now....have a lovely day!!

random stuff

So, I'm working a lot...

The Roach is getting busy with Watermark stuff...

Taking a bath is a great way to end a day...

I like writing letters...

chocolate is a beautiful thing...

And that's all

A Day Off

So, tomorrow I have the whole day off!! I don't have to work anywhere and I'm super excited. It'll be wonderful to spend a whole day with my wonderful, supportive, loving husband. The Roach has been good to me since I've started working...making me breakfast in the morning, packing my lunches....*sigh*

I am still applying for jobs, though I haven't heard from any of the ones I've applied for from the County or from Grand Valley State University. And, the other job I interviewed for I finally heard from today. I saw him in the office that I work in today and he asked me to call him after I was done. That conversation left me with the following knowledge: they have had 2 other people referred to them for the secreterial position that I've applied for, both with more experience than I have, so they wanted to contact them before they make any decisions. I was told, and confirmed, that I would be contacted either way by the end of next week. So, as this drama continues I begin to understand how this company might not be the best choice for me as an employee, nor for us as a family. I understand that they're busy but come on now...if you were really in such a need for a secretary you would make it a priority. That's just how we see it...

In the mean time I'm working through the employment agency again at the Register of Deeds Office in the County Court House. It's a good job, it pays well, although it's taken me this whole week to get used to staring at a computer screen again. I'd forgotten how tired your eyes get when you are in front of one for 8 hours!

Well, that's all for now...I think I'll go find something to eat now.

hey friends

Well, I've been working for Domino's Pizza for the last two weeks, and it's been fun. However I will begin working through ManPower again at another job....40 hours a week for good pay. We'll think about insurance, but that'll figure itself out. Anyway, I'm glad to have a routine coming. I'll be exhausted soon enough, but I'll also have to make a day of rest happen. But, that's what I have a wonderful husband for...he'll help to keep me rested.

I have to leave for work in a bit, delivering pizza. I do have to say though, delivering is a good part time job, if you're looking for one. I also work at a good store, with a good manager and great co-workers....it's the people who really make it fun. Anyway, I really would suggest it for anyone! It's easy, and the tips make it especially nice....have a good day!

Settling In....or trying to

So, moving back to good ol' Grand Haven hasn't gone as smoothly as we'd hoped. The challenge is really ourselves. We've gotten used to racing through life at College for the last 4-5 years, so moving here has been a 18o degree turn for us mentally. We aren't racing anymore....

Anyway, the Roach is up north with Cession this week, on their retreat. I have the pleasure of time alone while they're all up north and it's been very good. I hadn't realized until Monday that I haven't had any real alone time since we left Sussex, New Brunswick. So, being the crazy introvert that I am, I didn't realize how drained I was until Monday morning when I started feeling refreshed. Sometimes I amazed at how different the Roach and I are...he is refreshed when in large groups of people while I am drained. I am refreshed when I have time by myself while he is drained. We are so different, but that's why our relationship works. God had great things in mind when He put us together.

Well, I had an interview yesterday, and it seemed to go well. I will hear from them next week sometime. In the mean time I have to keep looking, in case this one doesn't work out, and I might find something better. While I wait I keep working for Domino's Pizza! Remember: TIP YOUR PIZZA DELIVERY DRIVERS!!! :-D (I am one, so I know their plight)

That's all in the life of this DeRoche home for today!

Correction

The phone number we were given was a Grand Rapids number...so today we called and had it change. Our new, Grand Haven, number is:

(616) 638-5233

I repeat: Our new, Grand Haven, number is:

(616) 638-5233


Thank you.

Our Contact Info.

We do have a mailing address & cell number now.

J & J DeRoche
12183 Sandy Woods Dr.
Grand Haven, MI 49417
USA

(616) 322-2304

The Roach will have the cell most of the time, but he knows my schedule, and can let you know when I'll be available.

Anyway, I start working at Domino's Pizza today, and I'm looking forward to bringing home some money again. I have an interview with a Title Company this coming Tuesday, so please pray that the interview would go well, and that the Roach and I would be wise as far as what job I choose.

Home, Sweet Home

We're back in Grand Haven now, and these past few days have been a whirlwind! We arrived Thursday afternoon, and it seems that we haven't stopped going until now. The Roach is out with Cession tonight, and I have a couple of hours to recover from the chaos of moving. We still haven't gotten our bags completely unpacked, but I have to learn that it's alright if it doesn't get done until tomorrow, or next week, or next month! Sometimes I wonder if I have a touch of OCD.
Anyway, as I sit in Jumpin' Java, enjoying my Muddy Mocha, I take a step back to survey what God has done for my husband and I. He's blessed us with family, friends, relief of some debt, a beautiful place to live (even a swimming pool), a great bed to sleep on, and work for me! I am in awe of how God shows me, in such grand ways, how he loves me. I've never gone hungry, or been without clothes, or been without a place to sleep. It seems like it would be unimaginable for me to keep this deep love to myself, and yet I still do. I am selfish, thinking only of myself.
God, please help me to seek a life of serving others rather than a life to serve myself.

WE'RE GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Lawyer emailed me yesterday and we're meeting him @ 10am EST in Fort Erie, ONT. He said that all that needs to be done now is for Jason to sign a couple of things and we'll be on our way! Praise the Lord! My patience has been tested tremendously through this time...I have to admit.

So, the final stages of packing have begun...washing laundry...folding clothes to fit into the small travel bags...starting to say our goodbyes to the family here in Northern New Brunswick. It's been a good rest for Jason and I though. I know I'm ready to start the next stage of this journey we're on.

Another blessing we've received is another job offer for me. It won't start until the middle/end of July, so I'll be working all I can at Domino's Pizza in the mean time. I'm excited to have a regular schedule again.

I SAW A MOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've never seen one before, and I was so excited!!! It was just strolling by the house, about 40 feet from the front porch! They really are ugly creatures...

a Moose

And in other news...Yesterday I went to see the eye doctor because my eyes were bothering me, and she informed me that I had a virus in my eyes, however my body did it's job and killed it. She saw white blood cells in my eyes, which is what told her all of that. I think it's amazing what we can know today, with all of the technology that we have. Anyway, that means I am without contacts for a few days and putting eye drops in twice a day, and rinsing my eyes out every hour or two...fun fun fun.
After seeing the eye doctor, Jason went golfing and I was his caddy...though he pulled his clubs more than I did. Anyway, he did well for not being on a course in about two weeks. The funny thing is that we went during the hottest time of the day and both of us got some sun...I am toasted nicely on my arms and face. It'll turn to a tan in a few days, but in the mean time my arms are tender to touch....
So, yesterday was my sister & brother-in-law's anniversary! They've been married for 4 years! Happy Anniversary!
We continue to wait on the lawyer. He's hoping it'll be soon, but he's also not given us a specific date yet. Soon is hope enough for me.

Planting A Garden

Today the Roach and I tackled the garden...which he's actually finishing up right now. We planted beans, snap peas, corn, something like celery (I don't remember the name), and finally potatoes. Well, I really only cut the potato seeds, but the roach is planting. I gave up because the work was too hard. Yes, I'm a city girl and planting a few seeds was too hard for me. I have much to learn if I want to have a small garden in the future.

Anyway, we're still waiting to hear from the lawyer. Each day is more challenging to wait, but wait we must. In the mean time Dad DeRoche got a job!!! Praise the Lord! It's well paying, and exactly what he wanted! The atmosphere of the house is quite different now. It's a huge blessing in many ways.

That's all for now...life seems quite slow, but now that we're outside it at least feels more productive.

Another Day…Another Blessing

Another day passes as we wait for the lawyer. *sigh* I try to not be impatient, but I have been failing miserably so far.

In the mean time, we received a huge blessing…if you’re a reader of Roach Rants then you know already, but I’ll share it again because it’s worth repeating. Jason’s parents blessed us by giving us the $18,000 loan that they took out for us at the beginning of the semester! We were going to tell them how we’d figured out to pay them back over the next couple of years only to be interrupted by Dad DeRoche. He told us that he and Mom DeRoche have been praying about it and want to bless us, investing in our ministry, by giving us the loan!!! I was in a state of shock for a couple of minutes, just staring at them! Then, I clarified what I’d heard by asking them: “are you serious?” And so they were! Praise God!!! So, we’re not $18,000 richer…or rather $18,000 less in debt. Either way, it’s a huge blessing!!! We’ve been praying for God to provide for us financially, and this is one way he’s doing just that!

Thanks God for reminding us, in a new way, that you love us.

An intense cup-o-coffee

And So We Wait

The Roach emailed the lawyer some information yesterday, so he could get the paperwork ready, asking him to let us know when it would be ready for us. We haven’t heard from the lawyer yet, but we will soon enough. In the mean time we wait for him. Sometimes waiting is boring, but I remember my mother telling me that her dad used to tell her that you’re only as bored as you want to be…there’s always something to do! There are dishes, laundry, general house tidying, reading, letters to write, games to play…so, you’re never really bored. It’s true. I’m only bored because I’m too lazy to think of something to get off of my bum and do it!

So, I think we’ll go for a walk after the Roach is done doing the next section of his homework…which he’ll finish soon. We haven’t gone for walk in a while. Ah…fresh air…

Step One...

We've moved from Sussex....step one is done! Now we're visiting the family and friends in northern NB for the next couple of weeks. This will be a fairly relaxing time, for us to recover, rest, and sort through our stuff. We'll be bringing the basics, which means clothes, computer, Jason's guitar, and Jason's golf clubs. I get to use his golf clubs so they're kinda for me too...but they're really for him.

So, after packing up the apartment Wednesday and all of Thursday, I'm reminded again of just how much I don't like packing....that's all of the complaining I'll do.

Anyway, Here's another picture from Graduation....another proud moment

Jason is done!

One of the few

Here's a picture of Graduation day...I'm a proud wife! After taking the pictures I did during those couple of days I've decided that we need a better quality camera. I mean, the one we have is functional, however I took quite a few not so good pictures with it...maybe it's not the camera that's the problem. Maybe I'm just a bad picture taker...Jason's dad, on the other hand did an excellent job taking this picture!

Anyway, the Roach and I went golfing this morning, and we had a good time. I'm exhausted though. I'd forgotten how much work it is to golf! Maybe if I try to go regularly this summer and fall, with the Roach, I'll improve. We shall see how the Golf Membership fund holds up.

I'm so proud!

A God Moment

Today I had a God moment with a dear friend of mine. It all started this morning when I sat down to have a talk with God. He reminded me again of how fully he loves me, showing me how I'm becoming, slowly, who He designed me to be. Then, this afternoon, I got to have a conversation with this dear friend, sharing my heart and how God has done new things in me. How exciting it is to think that God would use me to speak to someone, to share how much He loves them! I'm humbled and thrilled!!

The bigger story, the one God is playing, is so much better than the one I write.

As God continues to weed out my fears, insecurities, and selfishness I see more of him. I see the me that He has created....and she's beautiful because God thinks so!

When All is Said and Done

Graduation is finished, and the blah, blah, blah of the ceremonies is done. We're exhausted from sitting in two services for WAY too long. It's interesting how doing nothing makes you more tired than being busy all day long. Maybe it's just laziness setting in...

Anyway, as we recover from the weekend, I prepare for the coming week. There is a new friend staying with us for the week, saving him some money. It'll be fun to have him around. We'll probably have some friends over through the week, because.....well......we like to have people over!

But, after this week there will be prepping for the move. We've begun thinking about what we really need, what we really want, what we could really get rid of or live without for a while. Through this process I've realized just how materialistic I really am. How sad that I associate myself (my worth even) with the things I have!!! I'm sad to realize this because God is pointing out another way I don't love him, how I idolize my things......I have so far to go.
I'm glad God loves me anyway

Two Weeks Left...

in Sussex. It's kinda sad, because I've lived in this little town for approximately the last 5 years of my life, moving occassionaly back home with my parents, or with Jason's parents, or travelling to various provinces and states. But, this has been home-base for 5 years now! I do have to admit that it will be nice to move to a place that has more to do than rent movies, eat fast food, or get a coffee/donut. Oh, Grand Haven....soon....soon we'll be there!

Anyway, while Jason's off to do passport stuff and visit a bit with a friend in Maine, I'm enjoying the day by myself, for a bit, and then later I'm having some girls over! I need to clean up and get ready!! I'm excited!

Tired

So, we're just tired. Sleep is something that we are getting, however we just don't seem to be getting enough.

Today we went to celebrate a 51st anniversary of a couple at the church we're attending. It was so sweet because they renewed their vows in a short ceremony! Their whole family was there: 9 of 10 children (the 10th no longer alive), 20-some grand children, 4/5 great-grand children, and 1 great-great-grand child! They had a few friends there too, which we fall into. The husband was so proud...a french-man in his glory.

I think tonight will be a relax night...just bumming around, maybe inviting a couple of friends over to play a game or something. Not sure, but we need a relaxing night.

The Last Day of Classes!

Today is the last day of classes for the semester!!! Yay! I'm so excited, not only for the Roach, but for the rest of the students. It's been a tough year for many, and I'm glad for the relief that the summer brings. The Roach has exams in the coming 6 days: 3 Thursday, 2 Friday, and 1 Monday. The two hardest are Thursday, but he'll still need to study well for the rest of them. Anyway, pray with me that the Roach will do well, and that God will help him to recall what he's studied when the exams come.

After that is graduation stuff! Family will come, friends will leave, and parties will happen! It just seems like a bittersweet time.

Then, the first week of May is the James Seminar! It'll hopefully be a good class, because it's just a good book.

Then comes all of the packing and moving....blah, blah, blah......
The beginning of June will be beautiful for 2 reasons:

1. we won't have to move anymore, and
2. WE'LL BE LIVING IN GRAND HAVEN, MI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (enough said about that)

Anyway, as I've continued digesting Buck Naked Faith, Sandras asked a crucial question: "Are you so consumed with trying to do something for God that you aren't allowing room just to be God's?" (p 99) This was/is me! For some reason I think I need to do something for God, because then he'll love me more/better. I still find it hard to believe that he could love me just as I am, as a weak, selfish, fear-controlled person. And the best part is this: Jesus loves us ALL like that!!! Letting that sink has been challenging....and freeing. This freedom, through Christ's love, has freed me (ever so slowly) to love people too...and not just the people that I loved before. And, when I have an opportunity to tell someone about this new discovery, I feel kinda silly inside...as I think of all of the little details I worry about, and how they dictate my actions (or lack thereof), and how nothing seems to matter except that Jesus loves me.

That reminds me of a song I used to sing to myself, during the first semester of my second year, just about everyday. It's an old hymn, and most people think it's just for the kiddies. However, the deep truth that Jesus loves me, blows my mind!!! I'm amazed........sing it if you know the tune:

Jesus loves me, this I know
for the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong,
they are weak, but He is strong!

Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me! This I know,
As He loved so long ago,
Taking children on His knee,
Saying, “Let them come to Me.”

Jesus loves me still today,
Walking with me on my way,
Wanting as a friend to give
Light and love to all who live.

Jesus loves me! He who died
Heaven’s gate to open wide
He will wash away my sin,
Let His little child come in.

Jesus loves me! He will stay
Close beside me all the way
Thou hast bled and died for me,
I will henceforth live for Thee.

Our Time in Sussex Comes to A Close

So, I'm just killing time as the Roach is visiting with a friend, and I'm not wanted. I certainly don't mind though because, well, sometimes Jason's friends are his friends. I'm glad that we have different friends. It's kinda of nice. Maybe it just perpetuates the independant natures in us, but it's something that we've learned is quite valuable, because (well, frankly) we don't do well when we spend ALL DAY together. I love the Roach. I am a blessed woman.

As I've said, our time in Sussex, New Brunswick, Canada is coming to a close! I'm excited mostly because I'm looking forward to that final move! I look forward to finally unpacking our things for a while. We REALLY don't like moving, and with all of the moves we've either lost things, given them away because we didn't want to pack them, or had to leave things behind because there just wasn't room! I look forward to shopping for furniture that will be ours....not always having to ask around for extra chairs, etc. that people might be able to live without for a few months at a time. It'll be great! The only challenge is knowing where we'll live when we arrive in Grand Haven. But that's a worry for another day....and when that day comes God will have everything in order and we won't need to worry at all. I'm glad that our God loves each of us so uniquely.

On a side note: my most recent encounter with God was him showing me that I'm not what I tried so hard to be...the perfect Christian...and that I suck....but he loves that about me. He loves that I'm not what I tried to be, because that means that I can't do it on my own. He loves that I can't do it on my own, because that means that I need him to do it for me! He loves that I need him to do it for me, because that means that I'll know more of who he is.

WOW!!!

Coffee Anyone?

Coffee anyone?

Would anyone like a cup of coffee? Maybe we can meet at Jumpin' Java...

Please Go To the Following new Blog

www.thederochenewshub.blogspot.com

Cooking Is Fun

My favorite kind of cooking is the kind where you leave it in the oven for a couple of hours, and when you take it out, it's done!! Or even when you stick it in a pot on the stove, and let it boil for a while...that's great too.

I Suck At Life!

I have come to the hard realization that I suck at life, and there just doesn't seem to be any light at the end of my tunnel.....

Where Does Time Go? Really!

I can't believe it's been almost a whole week since I last blogged! I didn't realize how much time it takes when you're in the process of making a major decision! My days have been consumed with my thoughts, my heart, talking with God, talking with Jason, and trying to tell the difference between my own logical thoughts and what the Lord has to say about things! Sometimes I wish I would just shut up!

Anyway, other than that we've been fighting cold/flu symptoms here in the DeRoche apartment. YUCK!!! Here's something interesting: Echinacea makes your body temperature rise!!! I just found that out today, after taking it for a few days now, and wondering why I was so warm all of the time! I thought it was just our downstairs neighbors turning their heat on (which didn't make sense because it's been warming up), but it turns out that it's the drugs!

I've been reading "Buck Naked Faith" more too, which has been challenging my idea of being a Christian. The chapter I'm reading now is about the invaluableness of community. The challenge deeper is to look at my community to see if it's filled with people who have a shallow relationship with Jesus, or if it's filled with people who are digging deeper in their relationship with Jesus. I grew up in the former of these two, so I thought I was alright...which explains why it is so hard to see my relationship with Jesus needing to go any deeper than it has been. The digging gets harder though, finding the soil rock infested, dry, and not really good for much. Anyway, it's interesting, sometimes scary, and exciting to know that Jesus is getting his hands dirty with me.

Another DeRoche Gathering

It's a great thing when we come to the DeRoche home and feast! That is what we did today, our Easter feast.....because tomorrow will be a busy day. Anyhow...we're off to watch some movies.

good times...

Life = Chaos

I have decided that life will always be chaotic, no matter what stage I'm in! The idea of being bored only enters my mind when I admit that I really just don't want to wash the dishes that have been piling up by the sink, or fold the clothes that are dryed on the drying rack, or make the bed (again). Now, this idea causes nervousness in me.....chaos.....all of the time....

It's a nice idea to think that it will end when we're old and gray, and we're just not able to do everything that we used to do when we were young.........but that time is quite a ways away.

It's really me being selfish......wanting things my way.............sometimes I wish that part of me would just die already. Then maybe, just maybe, the idea of chaos, all of the time, wouldn't seem so daunting.

The Roach is action 

The End.............of Bethany Hockey

So......it's been a sad night........the game wasn't so hot..............it's been fun to watch the many games though.

I'm sure where ever we go next Coach DeRoche will find his niche! I look forward to those games now.

Mrs. Roach out

The Final Game

So, it's Jason's final hockey game of his Bethany career....a moment of silence please.

Thank you.

The taxes saga continues, however the answers to our many questions are being answered! I didn't know that so many forms existed!! I feel smarter though, after all of this process. Next year it won't be nearly as difficult, Lord willing.

Other than that, I've been wrestling with God, trying to figure out just who he is, and what he means to me. My brain gets exhausted easily, so I have to take breaks often....but baby steps are better than waiting for God to move me. I have to put something into this relationship too.

That's all for tonight.....I'll report on the game afterward.

Mrs. Roach out

Just a Quick One

BBC's hockey team played again tonight....and though it was a fairly eventful game, they lost by one. Next Monday is Jason's last hockey game of his Bethany career....we'll see how that goes.

Something To Chew On

My mind has been working through something, searching for answers that only my heart holds.

I've been reading Buck Naked Faith, by Eric Sandras, and it's been messing with my mind! AND, I've only just finished the first chapter. I used to think that I knew what it meant to be a Christian, but between this book and the one Jason's reading (A New Kind Of Christian, by Brian McLaren) my paradigms are being tested. The idea in Buck Naked Faith which challenged me most was how the author compared our relationship with God to either a bonsai tree or a real tree. He explained how bonsai trees (you know the little trees that Mr. Miagi kept in Karate Kid?) are planted and started just like real trees, but after they've grown a short while they are uprooted and placed in a pot, given little water, all new/excessive growth is cut off, and protected from any sort of weather that might challenge it's growth. They are made to look like real trees, strong, weathered, able to bear fruit. However, Sandras continues his point saying:

The problem is that bonsai trees are stunted, contrived, and internally very weak renditions of the trees God intended them to be. If you expect a bonsai tree to bear fruit, you'll be disappointed. And if you place a bonsai outdoors in the rain - never mind the snow and wind - it will die. (pg. 18)

This idea asked me to look at my relationship with God, or what I might have called a relationship with God. I have grown up going to church, so I've learned how to do it well. It is humbling for me to come to the conclusion that what I was calling a relationship with God wasn't that, it was obligation. There was little, often no joy in the disciplines I've been taught. They were just that: discipline. But, would I make myself spend time with a friend? If they're really a friend there is no obligation in talking to them, spending time with them, sharing my heart with them, listening to them share their heart. So the question is this: would my relationship with God be a real tree or a bonsai?

Discipline

No one likes discipline, and I don't like enforcing it. My problem is that I want the kids to like me...but I'm going to have to get over my issues. Being responsible for someone means they won't like you all of the time. The marshmallow in me has to die!

Tomorrow the boys will be gone for a while in the afternoon for a play date with one of their friends.....the Roach and I are looking forward to that time (he for homework & I for some down/alone time). Each day we have these children I find myself respecting parents more and more. I wonder though, is it different when you raise the children from infancy?

Respect

I have a new-found respect for parents now, just after a few days of watching 4&6 year-old boys. I also have much more respect for my own parents, as I'm beginning to see just how challenging it is...and these boys are much better behaved than my sisters and I were (I'm sure).

The Roach on the other hand seems to have a much better handle on parenting than I do. He is/will be a great father! I'm excited about that. I have so much to learn!! This week is a great opportunity to learn more about myself, my hubsband, and how we work together.

Next in line to do is research for immigration....often confusing, but we shall see!

We're Not In Grand Haven Anymore Roach

So, we're back in Sussex, New Brunswick now.....attempting to recover from our 48 hours of riding in a car!! WE'RE EXHAUSTED!!!

This week we're house/babysitting for one of Jason's professors. They're children are dolls....very well behaved. I have them for the day though cause the Roach needs a day to rest his mind, to revive his spirit. The boys and I will go sledding this afternoon, which will tire them out. They got to stay up until 8:30 last night because we watched a movie at their school, which was fun. Anyway, I'm being summoned by the little ones. The joys of being parents for 10 days is that we get to learn what it's like to be parents, and then give them back when their parents return. I think I'll feel a bit more ready to have our own children after this week, although when we actually do have our own I'm sure I'll quickly realize how unprepared we really are.

I love life!

WE'RE IN GRAND HAVEN

I can't believe we're back in Grand Haven again! It's almost like a dream. How great it is to see our friends from the area again! The long drive, 24 hours, was actually worth it, believe it or not.

Now, hopefully I can figure out how to fix my blog....it got messed up when we put up our picture.

Lovely, Aren't We?

Roach & Mrs. Roach

A lovely photo of the Roach family!

Are We Ready?

Tax season is in full swing, and I've finally been able to find some answers! It's not as scary as it looks at first, however the importance of these forms is very high.

Last night the Roach and I babysat one of our professor's children for the night, as a "practice" for in a couple of weeks when we have them for spring break. The kids went to bed very easily last night, promptly at 7pm! It was great! These children are pretty well behaved. However, after staying up to watch TV until 12am last night, the Roach and I were awaken to the sound of children talking in the living room at about 7:10AM!!! Now, we were warned that they would awaken at that hour, and understandably so. They went to be 12 hours earlier! Now we know that we need to go to bed probably closer to 10pm, to get sufficient sleep. So, the question is: Are we ready to be parents? While the answer is: No, not yet. We do still enjoy our sleeping in on Saturday mornings, and hope to continue to do so for at least one more year. Anyway, it was an interesting, fun, good time with those two boys!

Tax Season.....????

So, I'm trying to figure out how to do my taxes, and I'm not sure how to handle this one particular part: the Roach is Canadian! I would assume I am to file my taxes jointly, however they ask for a SSN, which the Roach does not have. He has a Canadian version of that number, called the Social Insurance Number....but I'm not sure it would be valid in the States. Anyway, if anyone in the blog world might have an answer to my question: PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Now, I have one more question (for now) which is for those bloggers from the state of Michigan: I fill out the tax forms for Federal and State taxes, right? I'll fill out the 1040 EZ form, from the IRS website, and also the 1040 form from the Michigan State website? This is the first year I've filled these forms out for myself, so I'm trying to understand.

Thank you so much to anyone who has any help for me!!!

ROACH SCORED AN AWESOME GOAL!!!!!

The BBC Blazers hockey team did lose, 6-4.....however, the Roach scored a goal while they were on a 5-on-3 penalty kill!!! IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that's all.

The Roach loves Mrs. Roach

It's true! Even though the Roach and his brother gave me whiplash on Friday, today the Roach gave me something else: beautiful flowers!!! I didn't think we were doing anything for Valentine's Day, so I didn't plan anything...however the Roach came home with 1 rose and 5 purple tulips!!! He also got me a beautiful red vase to put them in. It looks gorgeous!! I love it!

Tonight is another BBC hockey night!! I'll report tomorrow how the game comes out!

You Know You're Loved When

You know how sometimes when people say "I wouldn't pick on you if I didn't love you"? Well, I am loved....by my husband and my brother-in-law. On the way to the DeRoche house in northern New Brunswick, they decided to play a trick on us girls in the back (myself and Aza, a friend from school). side note: Jason loves to scare me, because he thinks he will scare it out of me.....there's logic there somewhere, but I haven't found it yet So, They decided that Jamie (driving) would tap on the brakes and Jason would scream....scaring us girls in the back awake. However, we were sleeping, with heads resting on the back of the seat, and when they did it, I was startled (as to their plan) and jerked my head into an upright position! I was fine for the rest of the night, but at about 6:30am yesterday morning I woke up with the most incredible pain in my neck!!! Now I know what whiplash feels like!!! I also know what a muscle relaxer does to my body! Pain relievers are beautiful things!

Sick Days

Jason caught the sickness that has been going around campus, which I said last blog...however it seems that I am having symptoms of the same! YUCK!!!!!

Anyway, we're being pounded by Old Man Winter tonight: 6" of snow, and now freezing rain! Ice covered snow is my favourite.....NOT!!! Okay, that's enough sarcasm for today.

Another Day...

It's a nice day here in Sussex. Nothing extraordinary has happened today, however the Roach isn't feeling too hot. So, if you think of him will you pray that God will heal him? I think it's just a small virus, but it makes it challenging for a college student when you're not feeling well.

As for me, I've been participating in our College's yearly Phonathon event, the past two nights, and again this Thursday. We may call again next Tuesday, but they're hoping to finish calling tomorrow night. It's been interesting for me because talking to new people isn't one of my strong points. I come home (after 4 hours) exhausted! The major highlight of this event is winning prizes for various things. I've brought home plenty of chocolate, and a couple of other things. It's fun, and an opportunity for me to give back to the college after four years here (and not participating any of those four years).

We're going to Jason's parents' home again this coming weekend, and it will be nice to be able to do laundry and not have to dig around for $1.25! Other than that it will be a nice get-away.

Other than that, life is good...life is the same. I love routines!

WE WON!!! GO BLAZERS GO!!!!!

The blazers won!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! The score was 6-4 (I believe) and it was a fun game. Roach was quite pleased afterward, so that's how I know the game was good.

It's SuperBowl Sunday!!! (I'm out for the free food)

So, I've confessed: I don't care about the game! I just want the free food! I don't care about the game, but Jason wants the Eagles to win, so that's who I'll cheer for.

It's interesting to me how God brings people into our lives. And even more interesting is who these people are. A new lady has been brought into my life, for an unknown reason, and I'm at a loss as to how to react. Part of me is scared, realizing that I am not truly equipped to help her as best as she needs. The other part of me is excited because it is another opportunity for God to love another soul through me! This realization of my lack of understanding & knowledge makes me a good candidate to love this lady, so that realization also brings with it the confidence that God is going to do it through me. Another, more honest, way of saying that is: that realization also brings with it the expectation that God better do it through me because I know myself and I love myself first and foremost before anyone else...so God's got a lot of lovin' to do.

My God is big enough for that though. I'm glad my God loves me!

Maybe Next Time...

Maybe next Monday night will be a win, who knows! But this past monday was not. The guys did have a practice last night at the local out door rink, and Jason was really excited when he came home. They worked on the basics, and I'm a bit more hopeful about a win this Monday. They're not professionals, but I do hope for some good news regarding the BBC hockey team.

Tonight, however, Jamie (Jason's brother) has come down to cook supper for us and our supper guests!! I'm excited because he is making Sushi and some thai food!!!!! Jason is always raving about Jamie's cooking abilities, and I finally get to experience it. We have invited 5 students from campus to enjoy this meal with us, and that is a special treat for them. It's great to invite people into your home! I love sharing time/life with these friends here.

My God is So Big

So strong, and so mighty. There's nothing my God can not do! I enjoy that song.

So, this past week was Holiness Advancement Week at Bethany Bible College and I had the pleasure of being allowed to participate in the services in the worship choir. It was a blessing to be a part of that, being a part of the leading team. This week was an awakening for my heart as well in another way. The guest preacher for the week shared on the passage in John 15, the vine and the brances, and elaborated on the parts of the vine that had to be thrown into the fire. I didn't want to admit at first that there were dead brances on my part of the vine, or that I had unnecessary branches which were taking up too much light and not producing any fruit! I had grown comfortable with my dead and fruitless branches, I liked them the way they were and I didn't want them to be removed. Now, God won't do anything in our hearts unless we give him permission, he gave us the ability to choose wanting us to choose him. So, I finally admitted my dead and fruitless branches needed to be cleaned up and as God started to clean up the mess I began to see more and more dead and fruitless brances! It is surprising to me just how much crap I hold on to!! And all for the sake of comfort and familiarity!! It will be a process of cleaning up the mess I've become so comfortable in. I'm not looking forward to the process of removing each unnecessary branch, but I am excited about the freedom that will come in the process.

Well, tonight is another Bethany Hockey night!! Roach is #39, and I have to insert a quick note: last week Roach dove in front of a shot on goal!!! IT WAS AMAZING!!! He timed it perfectly, and I was so proud! I still am as a matter of fact! They tied last week, and I hope to have news of a win after tonight!!! GO #39 GO!!!!!