I can't believe it's been almost a whole week since I last blogged! I didn't realize how much time it takes when you're in the process of making a major decision! My days have been consumed with my thoughts, my heart, talking with God, talking with Jason, and trying to tell the difference between my own logical thoughts and what the Lord has to say about things! Sometimes I wish I would just shut up!
Anyway, other than that we've been fighting cold/flu symptoms here in the DeRoche apartment. YUCK!!! Here's something interesting: Echinacea makes your body temperature rise!!! I just found that out today, after taking it for a few days now, and wondering why I was so warm all of the time! I thought it was just our downstairs neighbors turning their heat on (which didn't make sense because it's been warming up), but it turns out that it's the drugs!
I've been reading "Buck Naked Faith" more too, which has been challenging my idea of being a Christian. The chapter I'm reading now is about the invaluableness of community. The challenge deeper is to look at my community to see if it's filled with people who have a shallow relationship with Jesus, or if it's filled with people who are digging deeper in their relationship with Jesus. I grew up in the former of these two, so I thought I was alright...which explains why it is so hard to see my relationship with Jesus needing to go any deeper than it has been. The digging gets harder though, finding the soil rock infested, dry, and not really good for much. Anyway, it's interesting, sometimes scary, and exciting to know that Jesus is getting his hands dirty with me.
Thursday, 31 March 2005
Saturday, 26 March 2005
Another DeRoche Gathering
It's a great thing when we come to the DeRoche home and feast! That is what we did today, our Easter feast.....because tomorrow will be a busy day. Anyhow...we're off to watch some movies.
good times...
good times...
Wednesday, 23 March 2005
Life = Chaos
I have decided that life will always be chaotic, no matter what stage I'm in! The idea of being bored only enters my mind when I admit that I really just don't want to wash the dishes that have been piling up by the sink, or fold the clothes that are dryed on the drying rack, or make the bed (again). Now, this idea causes nervousness in me.....chaos.....all of the time....
It's a nice idea to think that it will end when we're old and gray, and we're just not able to do everything that we used to do when we were young.........but that time is quite a ways away.
It's really me being selfish......wanting things my way.............sometimes I wish that part of me would just die already. Then maybe, just maybe, the idea of chaos, all of the time, wouldn't seem so daunting.
It's a nice idea to think that it will end when we're old and gray, and we're just not able to do everything that we used to do when we were young.........but that time is quite a ways away.
It's really me being selfish......wanting things my way.............sometimes I wish that part of me would just die already. Then maybe, just maybe, the idea of chaos, all of the time, wouldn't seem so daunting.
Monday, 21 March 2005
The End.............of Bethany Hockey
So......it's been a sad night........the game wasn't so hot..............it's been fun to watch the many games though.
I'm sure where ever we go next Coach DeRoche will find his niche! I look forward to those games now.
Mrs. Roach out
I'm sure where ever we go next Coach DeRoche will find his niche! I look forward to those games now.
Mrs. Roach out
The Final Game
So, it's Jason's final hockey game of his Bethany career....a moment of silence please.
Thank you.
The taxes saga continues, however the answers to our many questions are being answered! I didn't know that so many forms existed!! I feel smarter though, after all of this process. Next year it won't be nearly as difficult, Lord willing.
Other than that, I've been wrestling with God, trying to figure out just who he is, and what he means to me. My brain gets exhausted easily, so I have to take breaks often....but baby steps are better than waiting for God to move me. I have to put something into this relationship too.
That's all for tonight.....I'll report on the game afterward.
Mrs. Roach out
Thank you.
The taxes saga continues, however the answers to our many questions are being answered! I didn't know that so many forms existed!! I feel smarter though, after all of this process. Next year it won't be nearly as difficult, Lord willing.
Other than that, I've been wrestling with God, trying to figure out just who he is, and what he means to me. My brain gets exhausted easily, so I have to take breaks often....but baby steps are better than waiting for God to move me. I have to put something into this relationship too.
That's all for tonight.....I'll report on the game afterward.
Mrs. Roach out
Monday, 14 March 2005
Just a Quick One
BBC's hockey team played again tonight....and though it was a fairly eventful game, they lost by one. Next Monday is Jason's last hockey game of his Bethany career....we'll see how that goes.
Saturday, 12 March 2005
Something To Chew On
My mind has been working through something, searching for answers that only my heart holds.
I've been reading Buck Naked Faith, by Eric Sandras, and it's been messing with my mind! AND, I've only just finished the first chapter. I used to think that I knew what it meant to be a Christian, but between this book and the one Jason's reading (A New Kind Of Christian, by Brian McLaren) my paradigms are being tested. The idea in Buck Naked Faith which challenged me most was how the author compared our relationship with God to either a bonsai tree or a real tree. He explained how bonsai trees (you know the little trees that Mr. Miagi kept in Karate Kid?) are planted and started just like real trees, but after they've grown a short while they are uprooted and placed in a pot, given little water, all new/excessive growth is cut off, and protected from any sort of weather that might challenge it's growth. They are made to look like real trees, strong, weathered, able to bear fruit. However, Sandras continues his point saying:
The problem is that bonsai trees are stunted, contrived, and internally very weak renditions of the trees God intended them to be. If you expect a bonsai tree to bear fruit, you'll be disappointed. And if you place a bonsai outdoors in the rain - never mind the snow and wind - it will die. (pg. 18)
This idea asked me to look at my relationship with God, or what I might have called a relationship with God. I have grown up going to church, so I've learned how to do it well. It is humbling for me to come to the conclusion that what I was calling a relationship with God wasn't that, it was obligation. There was little, often no joy in the disciplines I've been taught. They were just that: discipline. But, would I make myself spend time with a friend? If they're really a friend there is no obligation in talking to them, spending time with them, sharing my heart with them, listening to them share their heart. So the question is this: would my relationship with God be a real tree or a bonsai?
I've been reading Buck Naked Faith, by Eric Sandras, and it's been messing with my mind! AND, I've only just finished the first chapter. I used to think that I knew what it meant to be a Christian, but between this book and the one Jason's reading (A New Kind Of Christian, by Brian McLaren) my paradigms are being tested. The idea in Buck Naked Faith which challenged me most was how the author compared our relationship with God to either a bonsai tree or a real tree. He explained how bonsai trees (you know the little trees that Mr. Miagi kept in Karate Kid?) are planted and started just like real trees, but after they've grown a short while they are uprooted and placed in a pot, given little water, all new/excessive growth is cut off, and protected from any sort of weather that might challenge it's growth. They are made to look like real trees, strong, weathered, able to bear fruit. However, Sandras continues his point saying:
The problem is that bonsai trees are stunted, contrived, and internally very weak renditions of the trees God intended them to be. If you expect a bonsai tree to bear fruit, you'll be disappointed. And if you place a bonsai outdoors in the rain - never mind the snow and wind - it will die. (pg. 18)
This idea asked me to look at my relationship with God, or what I might have called a relationship with God. I have grown up going to church, so I've learned how to do it well. It is humbling for me to come to the conclusion that what I was calling a relationship with God wasn't that, it was obligation. There was little, often no joy in the disciplines I've been taught. They were just that: discipline. But, would I make myself spend time with a friend? If they're really a friend there is no obligation in talking to them, spending time with them, sharing my heart with them, listening to them share their heart. So the question is this: would my relationship with God be a real tree or a bonsai?
Tuesday, 8 March 2005
Discipline
No one likes discipline, and I don't like enforcing it. My problem is that I want the kids to like me...but I'm going to have to get over my issues. Being responsible for someone means they won't like you all of the time. The marshmallow in me has to die!
Tomorrow the boys will be gone for a while in the afternoon for a play date with one of their friends.....the Roach and I are looking forward to that time (he for homework & I for some down/alone time). Each day we have these children I find myself respecting parents more and more. I wonder though, is it different when you raise the children from infancy?
Tomorrow the boys will be gone for a while in the afternoon for a play date with one of their friends.....the Roach and I are looking forward to that time (he for homework & I for some down/alone time). Each day we have these children I find myself respecting parents more and more. I wonder though, is it different when you raise the children from infancy?
Monday, 7 March 2005
Respect
I have a new-found respect for parents now, just after a few days of watching 4&6 year-old boys. I also have much more respect for my own parents, as I'm beginning to see just how challenging it is...and these boys are much better behaved than my sisters and I were (I'm sure).
The Roach on the other hand seems to have a much better handle on parenting than I do. He is/will be a great father! I'm excited about that. I have so much to learn!! This week is a great opportunity to learn more about myself, my hubsband, and how we work together.
Next in line to do is research for immigration....often confusing, but we shall see!
The Roach on the other hand seems to have a much better handle on parenting than I do. He is/will be a great father! I'm excited about that. I have so much to learn!! This week is a great opportunity to learn more about myself, my hubsband, and how we work together.
Next in line to do is research for immigration....often confusing, but we shall see!
Saturday, 5 March 2005
We're Not In Grand Haven Anymore Roach
So, we're back in Sussex, New Brunswick now.....attempting to recover from our 48 hours of riding in a car!! WE'RE EXHAUSTED!!!
This week we're house/babysitting for one of Jason's professors. They're children are dolls....very well behaved. I have them for the day though cause the Roach needs a day to rest his mind, to revive his spirit. The boys and I will go sledding this afternoon, which will tire them out. They got to stay up until 8:30 last night because we watched a movie at their school, which was fun. Anyway, I'm being summoned by the little ones. The joys of being parents for 10 days is that we get to learn what it's like to be parents, and then give them back when their parents return. I think I'll feel a bit more ready to have our own children after this week, although when we actually do have our own I'm sure I'll quickly realize how unprepared we really are.
I love life!
This week we're house/babysitting for one of Jason's professors. They're children are dolls....very well behaved. I have them for the day though cause the Roach needs a day to rest his mind, to revive his spirit. The boys and I will go sledding this afternoon, which will tire them out. They got to stay up until 8:30 last night because we watched a movie at their school, which was fun. Anyway, I'm being summoned by the little ones. The joys of being parents for 10 days is that we get to learn what it's like to be parents, and then give them back when their parents return. I think I'll feel a bit more ready to have our own children after this week, although when we actually do have our own I'm sure I'll quickly realize how unprepared we really are.
I love life!
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