The Beginning of My Journey

So, we find out today that we can’t get a loan, for whatever reason. There is another place to check, and that won’t be known until Thursday afternoon, at the earliest. So, I guess the next step in this is to accept the fact that we will have to wait for God to bring the money to us. I have to admit that I’m disappointed, upset, and a bit stressed about this. I know that God is capable of providing the money we’ll need when we need it, so why do we have to go through it again? Maybe it’s for my sake. I saw Jason go through it, waiting for God to provide the money for his semesters, so I believe it can happen. I just don’t want to have to wait for it myself. Maybe I have a double standard; it’s fine to see another believer’s faith grow while waiting for God to provide, but it’s not cool to have to go through it myself.

The last six/seven months have been a great opportunity for the Roach to go on a journey, to discover who his God really was and what that meant to him. Maybe these next few months will be my opportunity to go on this journey, find out who my God is, and what that means to me. It’s been great to see the Roach go through the transformation, but maybe it’s time for me to stop watching. Maybe I need to participate in this discovery. What that means for me over these coming months, I don’t know. It could mean many things, and I have to admit that I’m a bit scared at what I’ll find when I look inside my heart. I’ve seen so much selfishness already!

We’ll see where this journey leads me.